Okay, I’m going to get this rant out as fast as possible because I’m sure to have something shoved in my mouth if I take too long! I don’t understand why all the adults, AKA servants, want to shut me up! Are they afraid of what I might say? Do they fear my political beliefs? My position on global warming or the impending destruction of our economy? The truth is, though I have interesting thoughts on all of those topics, I just want to shoot the sh*t. Maybe talk about a beautiful shade of red, or point out a toy that should be “MINE MINE MINE,” but they don’t even hear me out. They quickly stifle my requests with a binky, a boob, or a spoon full of mush. Look, I’ve got a thumb to suck on… I’ve got two, plus a whole fist and feet if necessary. If I want to shove one of those in my mouth I can without their help, thank you very much.
What is it with the servants? Do they not understand a single word I’m saying? It’s like I’m speaking a foreign language or something. I just want to express myself verbally. I mean they love when I express myself artistically – well, except for the time I used poop as paint. You know what? That was not my fault, I can’t control when inspiration is going to hit. Look desperate times… if I had a crayon handy, I would have used it. I digress. I’m just sayin’, let me say something without trying to shut me up. The princess wants to speak!
Hey Ryan, I feel you. Sometimes I just want to express myself, but nobody ever wants to listen. But seriously, if you ever want to do some poop fingerpainting, I’m all in. That’s my favorite.
You’re on Juan. I love painting with poop, regardless of what everyone says about it being gross.
Let’s have a poop party or was that a party pooper…? Let’s all shout out loud!!!
Seriously. Give these lungs a chance to develop!
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