Author Archives: Juan

Juan “Baby Lucha”

My name is Juan Carlos José Alejandro De La Garza. But everyone calls me Baby Lucha. I like cat litter, ketchup packets, house keys, remote controls, anything shiny, luchadores (hence the nickname), power tools, and chocolate milk. I don't like balloons, shirts that snap at the crotch, hamsters, smushed peas, nasal bulb syringes or naps.

I live with my Mami, Papi, Abuela, two brothers, three evil hamsters and one cat. All in all, I have a good life, at least from what I know. Except when they make me watch these really scary TV shows they call "educational." I mean, who wouldn't be scared of four grown men wiggling around and singing or giant yellow birds waddling down the street? It's just not natural, Mami! Once I figure out how to work the remote, it's gonna be a 24-hour lucha libre fiesta. I might even let you go to the bathroom by yourself. If you're lucky.